It was 2007, Kaayra was in love with Anay. In a lot of ways Anay was too. But he was reluctant to be in a relationship with her, given his past. Anay had had his previous "one true love" leave him; without a notice, a reason, a lie, anything. Anay was probably not ready and despite everything, he was not completely out of love with her. And then, one fine day, Kaayra couldn't stand it anymore and told him that she wasn't leaving him, no matter what. She told him that the only way she would leave is when all that is left of him is a chalk line drawn in his shape on any floor. Guess Anay got swept off his feet by that statement.
Today, after years of a some-what happy marriage and 2 beautiful children, her words came true. All that was left of Anay was a chalk line on the floor in his shape. They couldn't find who did this to him. As she was already aware, the house was swept clean and absolutely no evidences were found of anyone else being there. She had just returned from the girls' boarding school. He had some work which wouldn't let him come along. She vaguely remembered the argument. She was complaining that he wasn't highly dedicated to the family. His work, his friends, everything else always got priority over the family. He did not deny that. But he just made his face, the one that he always made that made Kaayra feel that it was really her fault, because she was the one who wanted this family. This had happened several times before as well. Anay never really said these words. But Kaayra knew that he thought it and he did so each time the famiy unit hit a blotch. But was that really the thing to think about, the people said that Anay had been dead for all the days that Kaayra wasn't even there at home. She was left wishing she had pressed a little more instead of just giving up. Anay always agreed to everything she said, once she pestered enough.
She started to think of all the history that they had shared together. How they started as friends and how she saw him fall for that girl. He never really told Kaayra her name. But he was the happiest in days and each day that passed with him in love, she couldn't stop wishing that it was her who could make Anay even half as happy as this other girl. And then she left. Whence Kaayra thought it was a good thing, one look at Anay was enough to make her feel that nothing else could have been more devastating. But things seemigly got better with time. It took 3 years to get partially better, but they did get better afterall. Anay always knew what Kaayra felt for him, but he refused to acknowledge it, just to avoid the conflict. But Kayra did what she did and they decided to get together. A lot of times then (and also during the several years that they lived together), Kaayra felt the shadow of his past hovering his thoughts. She felt that though he was with her, he never really was with her. That girl took a significant part of Anay with her. Kaayra found it to be silly. How a single person could effect Anay so much, she often wondered. But then she saw herself and realized that Anay had the same effect on her.
She tried to ignore it, the alleged effect, initially. But it was something she couldn't ignore after a point in time. It was almost as if he was never really dedicated to her. He was a good husband. But as a companion, it never seemed like he was interested in how her days were, what made her glow with happiness or the petty things that infuriated her. Long before she happened, Kaayra thought that it was probably how he was. He wouldn't be able to make himself care for another person the way she cared for him. But then, she did happen. Kaayra noticed the difference. Anay was intereseted in petty details, just not Kaayra's. There were a lot of time Kaayra found herself pining to be a person who she hadn't met, not even knew the name of. Anay, to her, was everything Kaayra wanted him to be for herself. And suddenly, Anay wasn't there at all. For anyone.
Kaayra suddenly noticed that she was still at the same main door that she opened once she reached home. She had landed from the flight and tried calling Anay for about 15 minutes before boarding a cab of her own. She was already a little angry that the girls did not get to see their father. What's more, he did not even call them for the three days that she was there. And then, he did not show up to pick her up either. And his phone was switched off. By the time she reached home, she was certain she'll address "the elephant in the room", as Anay would mockingly call all everything. She opened the door and saw him drawn on the floor, as a chalk line. There were several people as well. Neighbors told her that they called the authorities when a dog kept barking at the house (a day after she had gone). The people came and opened the door and had been trying to reach her for the past two days. No one had seen anything or even heard noises. Kaayra was motionless for a really long time.
She then ran out of the house, in the middle of the road, tears exploded with wails and cries. A moment later, she realized that she had been such a terrible mother all this while. The girls did not cross her mind thus far. How will she tell them that he was gone! It was their father. What will they do now? How will this change the family? Will they be able to tell the difference?
She also wondered if they will ever be able to understand why she did it. But she thought it best not to tell anyone, not even them.
Today, after years of a some-what happy marriage and 2 beautiful children, her words came true. All that was left of Anay was a chalk line on the floor in his shape. They couldn't find who did this to him. As she was already aware, the house was swept clean and absolutely no evidences were found of anyone else being there. She had just returned from the girls' boarding school. He had some work which wouldn't let him come along. She vaguely remembered the argument. She was complaining that he wasn't highly dedicated to the family. His work, his friends, everything else always got priority over the family. He did not deny that. But he just made his face, the one that he always made that made Kaayra feel that it was really her fault, because she was the one who wanted this family. This had happened several times before as well. Anay never really said these words. But Kaayra knew that he thought it and he did so each time the famiy unit hit a blotch. But was that really the thing to think about, the people said that Anay had been dead for all the days that Kaayra wasn't even there at home. She was left wishing she had pressed a little more instead of just giving up. Anay always agreed to everything she said, once she pestered enough.
She started to think of all the history that they had shared together. How they started as friends and how she saw him fall for that girl. He never really told Kaayra her name. But he was the happiest in days and each day that passed with him in love, she couldn't stop wishing that it was her who could make Anay even half as happy as this other girl. And then she left. Whence Kaayra thought it was a good thing, one look at Anay was enough to make her feel that nothing else could have been more devastating. But things seemigly got better with time. It took 3 years to get partially better, but they did get better afterall. Anay always knew what Kaayra felt for him, but he refused to acknowledge it, just to avoid the conflict. But Kayra did what she did and they decided to get together. A lot of times then (and also during the several years that they lived together), Kaayra felt the shadow of his past hovering his thoughts. She felt that though he was with her, he never really was with her. That girl took a significant part of Anay with her. Kaayra found it to be silly. How a single person could effect Anay so much, she often wondered. But then she saw herself and realized that Anay had the same effect on her.
She tried to ignore it, the alleged effect, initially. But it was something she couldn't ignore after a point in time. It was almost as if he was never really dedicated to her. He was a good husband. But as a companion, it never seemed like he was interested in how her days were, what made her glow with happiness or the petty things that infuriated her. Long before she happened, Kaayra thought that it was probably how he was. He wouldn't be able to make himself care for another person the way she cared for him. But then, she did happen. Kaayra noticed the difference. Anay was intereseted in petty details, just not Kaayra's. There were a lot of time Kaayra found herself pining to be a person who she hadn't met, not even knew the name of. Anay, to her, was everything Kaayra wanted him to be for herself. And suddenly, Anay wasn't there at all. For anyone.
Kaayra suddenly noticed that she was still at the same main door that she opened once she reached home. She had landed from the flight and tried calling Anay for about 15 minutes before boarding a cab of her own. She was already a little angry that the girls did not get to see their father. What's more, he did not even call them for the three days that she was there. And then, he did not show up to pick her up either. And his phone was switched off. By the time she reached home, she was certain she'll address "the elephant in the room", as Anay would mockingly call all everything. She opened the door and saw him drawn on the floor, as a chalk line. There were several people as well. Neighbors told her that they called the authorities when a dog kept barking at the house (a day after she had gone). The people came and opened the door and had been trying to reach her for the past two days. No one had seen anything or even heard noises. Kaayra was motionless for a really long time.
She then ran out of the house, in the middle of the road, tears exploded with wails and cries. A moment later, she realized that she had been such a terrible mother all this while. The girls did not cross her mind thus far. How will she tell them that he was gone! It was their father. What will they do now? How will this change the family? Will they be able to tell the difference?
She also wondered if they will ever be able to understand why she did it. But she thought it best not to tell anyone, not even them.
