Hey..
Its been a long while since i blogged. Why? Cos i haven't the time. I haven't the time to think. I have started practicing my Keyboard, again. Its like rebirth. I used to play it a lot earlier. But never this way. This time i am on my own.
but now, I'm really wondering what kept me occupied.
I really love to blog. and it really doesn't take a lot of time. Then why wouldn't I blog? more than the Keyboard (I call him Jeremy), it was the people and their ways that occupied my mind.
Why do people have to be nice at one time and extremely morbid the other. Its a mortal insult to humanity to consider some poeple human at most times.
The other day, i was walking across and i saw an old woman lying beside the road. On further careful observation, i realised, she wasn't dead. (I was passing a hospital, that was the first thing that struck me). She definitely wasn't the most beautiful woman i have ever seen, not even close, not even a bit. However, there was something about her that i felt i could carry with me. She was poor, had no place to sleep, which was assumably why she was sleeping on the road. The rags she wore gave me an apt description of the best that she could afford to be. Was a slum dweller most probably. I wouldn't be surprised to know if her family had abandoned her to avoid funeral expenses. It would have been easy for me to feel superior to her. Really.
However, that was not to happen. There she was, sleeping. Peacefully. Made me wonder about her. I was happy to see her. She was not lying like she was thrown on the road. Not even like she is ashamed of her own self and is eagerly waiting for the cease of the wretched existence. She had absolutely no emotion and/or expression on her face. I was scared of waking her up. The way she was comfortable belittled me because of the vanity that makes us who we are. If she could be happy and content even on a makeshift bed on a footpath, what makes me grumble all the time? Why do I need more, all the very time?
I made the least noise possible, I wonder if that made a difference although, she was on the road anyways. But I simply honoured her privacy. I moved very close to her, so close that i could observe each and every wrinkle on her face sunken into tanquility. She was not happy, but she was satisfied.
I was so jealous of her. More like I was scared, I was scared that if she wakes up and I see some emotion on her face, I might not be able to stay jealous of her anymore. But if she was still worth being jealous of after she awakens, it would be disheartening. I was happier with me walking away with a hope that she might not be as happy as she appears. I didn't want her to wake up like the way everyone else does. I didn't want to see her wake up and begin her day casually. And even now, I hope she would not have done that.
Every other passer-by would have thought of her as a casualty of the material-driven society. I wonder how many really knew that it is not she, but me (and others like me), who really are a casualty, who really live pointlessly without a reason. I guess she was content for a reason afterall. What a pity, I lack the understanding and logic to realise that one can be happy even within a limit of consumable survival. Plenty is not necessary.
And here, I live on without any tangible sense, but a hope. Hope that she did not smile.
Is it not a shame that I would be better off if I assume that she is worse off than she appeared to be, pray, tell! Maybe it is. Maybe it is I who's the wretch afterall.
Anyways, see ya around.
Its been a long while since i blogged. Why? Cos i haven't the time. I haven't the time to think. I have started practicing my Keyboard, again. Its like rebirth. I used to play it a lot earlier. But never this way. This time i am on my own.
but now, I'm really wondering what kept me occupied.
I really love to blog. and it really doesn't take a lot of time. Then why wouldn't I blog? more than the Keyboard (I call him Jeremy), it was the people and their ways that occupied my mind.
Why do people have to be nice at one time and extremely morbid the other. Its a mortal insult to humanity to consider some poeple human at most times.
The other day, i was walking across and i saw an old woman lying beside the road. On further careful observation, i realised, she wasn't dead. (I was passing a hospital, that was the first thing that struck me). She definitely wasn't the most beautiful woman i have ever seen, not even close, not even a bit. However, there was something about her that i felt i could carry with me. She was poor, had no place to sleep, which was assumably why she was sleeping on the road. The rags she wore gave me an apt description of the best that she could afford to be. Was a slum dweller most probably. I wouldn't be surprised to know if her family had abandoned her to avoid funeral expenses. It would have been easy for me to feel superior to her. Really.
However, that was not to happen. There she was, sleeping. Peacefully. Made me wonder about her. I was happy to see her. She was not lying like she was thrown on the road. Not even like she is ashamed of her own self and is eagerly waiting for the cease of the wretched existence. She had absolutely no emotion and/or expression on her face. I was scared of waking her up. The way she was comfortable belittled me because of the vanity that makes us who we are. If she could be happy and content even on a makeshift bed on a footpath, what makes me grumble all the time? Why do I need more, all the very time?
I made the least noise possible, I wonder if that made a difference although, she was on the road anyways. But I simply honoured her privacy. I moved very close to her, so close that i could observe each and every wrinkle on her face sunken into tanquility. She was not happy, but she was satisfied.
I was so jealous of her. More like I was scared, I was scared that if she wakes up and I see some emotion on her face, I might not be able to stay jealous of her anymore. But if she was still worth being jealous of after she awakens, it would be disheartening. I was happier with me walking away with a hope that she might not be as happy as she appears. I didn't want her to wake up like the way everyone else does. I didn't want to see her wake up and begin her day casually. And even now, I hope she would not have done that.
Every other passer-by would have thought of her as a casualty of the material-driven society. I wonder how many really knew that it is not she, but me (and others like me), who really are a casualty, who really live pointlessly without a reason. I guess she was content for a reason afterall. What a pity, I lack the understanding and logic to realise that one can be happy even within a limit of consumable survival. Plenty is not necessary.
And here, I live on without any tangible sense, but a hope. Hope that she did not smile.
Is it not a shame that I would be better off if I assume that she is worse off than she appeared to be, pray, tell! Maybe it is. Maybe it is I who's the wretch afterall.
Anyways, see ya around.
No comments:
Post a Comment