I had thought I'd update a post on "Truth and the truth behind it". And if I'd get any other thing in my head, I would park it for later, because I wanted to complete that one. However, I forgot what that one was about and then I could not make my mind to believe that I got rid of that outstanding idea.
All of the above was an explanation as to why I have not been here.
Where have I been?
Around.
What have I been doing?
Coping up.
I have a very good plan. I have lived a life. Pretty good one. At each stage of life, I have trusted people, fallen in love, raised hopes, changed myself, pretended to be this or that. Loads of stuff. It has been a roller coaster all the way. The bad, the ugly, the filthy - seen it all.
Now there I was, once, when I lost a dream, I nurtured another one. It made me feel "cool" to be able to do that. I was in midst of a pretty bad crisis when each one of those dreams crashed, one by one. So I sat wondering "what next?". And I figured that each of the dream that I happily spake about revolved around people. Some behaving in a certain manner and some others approving of my behavior. Ironic, because I keep insisting that I should be most important in my life. (Which, by the way, never ends up happening)
That also resulted in the fact that I have constantly been trying to be appealing to someone or the other, to be someone who someone else can approve of - to the extent that I would eventually be so engrossed in the appealing bit that my initial motive was forgotten somehow. Tried a lot of times, failed a lot of times. It all resulted in the same garbage each time.
Now, I am on a mission to not please anyone. I'm not a pleasant person and people can live with it. I am done being someone who anyone should notice, care, be nice to. I was being someone else so that someone would care. I am done. Totally.
Now, I would not make any effort whatsoever to be anyone else. No effort to please anyone. What would be the result? If I dont make an effort to be seen, no one shall see me. No one would be effected by my existence. On the brighter side, I'd be able to be myself. Though no one shall know what am I like when I am being myself, probably not even me.
Never promised any sense, did I?
See ya around.
All of the above was an explanation as to why I have not been here.
Where have I been?
Around.
What have I been doing?
Coping up.
I have a very good plan. I have lived a life. Pretty good one. At each stage of life, I have trusted people, fallen in love, raised hopes, changed myself, pretended to be this or that. Loads of stuff. It has been a roller coaster all the way. The bad, the ugly, the filthy - seen it all.
Now there I was, once, when I lost a dream, I nurtured another one. It made me feel "cool" to be able to do that. I was in midst of a pretty bad crisis when each one of those dreams crashed, one by one. So I sat wondering "what next?". And I figured that each of the dream that I happily spake about revolved around people. Some behaving in a certain manner and some others approving of my behavior. Ironic, because I keep insisting that I should be most important in my life. (Which, by the way, never ends up happening)
That also resulted in the fact that I have constantly been trying to be appealing to someone or the other, to be someone who someone else can approve of - to the extent that I would eventually be so engrossed in the appealing bit that my initial motive was forgotten somehow. Tried a lot of times, failed a lot of times. It all resulted in the same garbage each time.
Now, I am on a mission to not please anyone. I'm not a pleasant person and people can live with it. I am done being someone who anyone should notice, care, be nice to. I was being someone else so that someone would care. I am done. Totally.
Now, I would not make any effort whatsoever to be anyone else. No effort to please anyone. What would be the result? If I dont make an effort to be seen, no one shall see me. No one would be effected by my existence. On the brighter side, I'd be able to be myself. Though no one shall know what am I like when I am being myself, probably not even me.
Never promised any sense, did I?
See ya around.