on love

Love.. Ah! Pity that you think that it exists.
There is no love on the planet. Its just a concept that sells.
Well, digest this. What if you were born to someone other than who your mother is, another pretty woman maybe. Would you still not love your mother, whoever she is? Doesn't everyone love his/her mother? Its not about the love my dear. Its about the need. Most of the times, we depend on people. And that dependence is reciprocated. Thus, we begin to feel it is love. What if all the people in your life did not have a role to play in your life at all? We depend on everyone in our lives. Some for emotional requirements (by that I mean - the requirements to be close to someone, someone to hear us talk and attempt to make sense out of it, someone to make us feel important, someone to make us feel that even when the entire planet is up against us, someone, somewhere still believes that we are the best thing since sliced bread, and the works!) and some others for other, more practical, material requirements. For example, we all need a driver, a cook, a gardener, a sweeper, a maid, a spouse, so on and so forth for obvious and similar reasons. Similarly, we need parents too. We did not choose our parents. We got delivered to them by default. Figuratively speaking, we did not even choose our friends, circumstances made them our friends.
And the same people stay in our lives as they made it a better place (momentarily at that)

Ever wondered if you would really care to be the same to people all throughout?
Ever wondered who conned the term "taken for granted" and for what reason?
Well, for starters, why don't you begin with wondering why people change in the first place?

They change because the circumstances make them change. They change because they get bored of being nice to us. No one can be nice to us. I have friends who have been in relationships for a long long time. Too long to form an opinion. Too long to judge the person. What is the point of it all, if I may ask? The person they loved on day 1 has evolved into an entirely different person, and now they still stick to each other like parasites. They could have been in love with someone else as well. Would it have made any difference in the situation? Well, I dont think so.
People is a funny concept. I always get jealous of people who have a short memory. Its so much fun to not know someone. Actually anyone. If the place was just so full of strangers who wouldn't want to know one another, people would not really care to judge you or to take home ill-memories, the world could be a peaceful place.  After a judgement is already passed, its difficult not just to change it but also to prevent it from deteriorating. The "Knight in Shining Armour" always ends up being the "Retard in Tin Foil." Or maybe I'm just expecting too much. Both sides of the coin are possible. And, figuratively speaking, both bring the same point home.

This was another one of the posts that I had not published due to lack of sense making capacities.
However, I publish it now.

Sincere apologies.
See ya around.

Today..

Today I see a man. He is so happy and pleasantly smiling. I have seen him so many times earlier. But I never managed to see him this happy.
Oh! I pity him so much. Its a pity that he is not happy all the time, if I may say so. But thats not what I pity him about.

His hands are so clumsy that i feel i touched a loose water baloon (or an old woman's belly) His smile and voice are so tired that they emit an aura of apathy. One look at him and you dont think he deserves to be this happy at all.
He seems to be a normal human being, but so arrogant in his sub-normal existence that he doesn't even realise what is he missing.
The irksome look on his face, the feeling when you see him .. the one of wishing to pound his bones to powder, the one which does not let you feel like believing in him at all. the one of acute hatred and despice.

Why, why would i feel so? Why would I want to dismantle each limb off the body?
I do dislike humans on a general basis. Like there are so many individuals who are nice but I dont particularly enjoy their company, for no apparent reason. However, this one is special. For this guy has never harmed me directly. Speaks like a jackass, works like a jackass, lives like a jackass. Nothing changes. Nothing effects me. Absolutely no difference made by dint of his sheer existence. And he is happy today.

Relevance quotient almost equals zero to me.

But i still feel the pang of miserable pity. Hate the feeling. Hate him more for causing the feeling.

Wish I didn't have to feel so. Wish I wasn't here in the first place. Wish he wasn't here in the second.



See ya around..

You

PREFACE: I have been away for a while.

Just like I always wanted. Away from my thoughts. Which is also why I am entirely unapologetic about not blogging since 2nd Jan. I did manage some stuff, but it was too miserable to complete and too incomplete to put up here.

However, this is something that I have been thinking of, while on my way home from work. EVERYDAY!
Please do not, forcrissake, expect the following to make sense. Although, on afterthought, I am going to make maximum sense I ever made.
So here it goes:

Dedicated to "you"

You there! Do you think I dont recognise you anymore?
I do. I always have.
I have seen through each mind game that you played. I followed each one of your moves. Pretty neat, I must say. Neat enough to allow me to enjoy, even though I realise it's just the same old mind game.
Each time...
Each and every time...
You come across as a random stranger. I tell you my story each time (now I always heard the chuckling, you didn't expect me not to). You'd enjoy a new version of the story. You have heard so many of them that you don't even bother to remember which one was it this time. For that matter, I don't even remember which one it was. I guess I have forgotten the truth by now. Was that your trick? Oh boy! How I wish it was!

Your intent, however, was to drown me in the shallow well of vulnerability.
You wished to plaster me with confidence, that was your way of straight-jacketing me.
You dragged me to the altar of well-being and from almost nowhere shackled me to it.
And lo! "Before I could even realise" I was taken.

You have had variouos faces. The meek, the poet, the wanderer, the goon, the altruist, the devoted, the random, the unknown, the famous.

Hah! But little do you realise, I see through you now, I saw through you everytime. I knew you shall destroy me bit by bit, pieces into pieces. But I let you.

I let you because I needed to learn.

Albeit, have I learnt still remains a mystery... and so does the question, do I want to learn.
You know everything of me. Yet there is a lot that I hide from you. There is a lot that you shall never know and you never should.
Today I still know and face it. It was you each time.
In a different face. In an altogether different way each time.
Someday, when I get the time from sorting the mess we've built around me, I shall introspect. And I shall realise that I have been foolish - loosing a contest willingly when I didn't stand a chance to win in the first place. I could've never won. If I ever came close to it anyways, you'd have backed out and re-entered the contest as an entirely different person. Hah! Caught you.

Funny thing, eh?


... The End.

See ya around!