And such is love!

I love you.

There, I said it.

I love you a lot. A lot more than I can imagine. Lot more than I can tolerate, I should tolerate rather.

I saw you walk past. I saw you go away. I saw that never even turned back to see.I noticed every bit. I comforted myself saying not all people are the same; I like to see him go, he doesn't want to check if I am still there.

I even saw you fall in love. I saw you turn into a totally different person. Things that were insane and stupid with me, suddenly became cute. Things which you would find lame when I did them, you did all of those and more. I saw in you for her what I always wanted for me. I wasn't even jealous, most times. I was only glad that it happened to you.

I saw when your love fell apart. I saw when you were desperately clinging for hope onto what was a lost cause. Ironically, you chided at me for doing the same. I'm glad you finally understood what love was about. Not so glad, though, as you chose which lost cause to fight and that wasn't me.

Sigh! I still love you a lot. A lot more than I can imagine. Lot more than I can believe.

There I sat, trying to understand what went wrong with us. I tried to make all wrongs go away. Figured it was never meant to be anyways. I tried not talking to you for long. Did not work. Tried to talk to you about it. Did not work. I tried to talk to you about everything but it. Did not work. Nothing ever did. Nothing changed the way I feel about you. Like I once said, nothing ever shall change my love for you. I was only romancing you then. Ah! Little did I know.

There I sat, once I told you to cling to the girl. You listened. Next time you fought, I told you to end it with her. You did not listen. Never was I ever sure of what did I want. Never was I ever sure of what did you want. Never could I surmise why would you ask my opinion. I was difficult. Each time, was it not? For me, it was, to listen to you tell me how you loved her so. How you would by all means leave no stone unturned, which wasn't even worth the effort or a try once, earlier.

There I sat, when you wronged her. You were on the verge of doing the same to her, that you did to me. I saw, told you to not do so. I wasn't sure if you'd listen. But you did. I still am not sure if I should feel good or not.

Alas! I still love you a lot. A lot more than I can imagine. Lot more than I ever thought I could or would.

Do you even realize? You make a hell lot of difference to me. You mean a lot. If only half the feelings were reciprocated, I'd be happier than I have ever been. But it was not to be. Ironically, I guess you feel that way about your girl. I wish, for your sake, that she could see you through my eyes. But hey! That is not to be. I don't think anyone has loved anyone as insanely as this. Ever. I guess no one should.

I know it hurts. I know it is not worth it. I know it's pointless. And I know it is. And it shall always be.

Ironically though, I'd once wished for you to fall in love. Guess I should have been more specific about who with. Guess I should have known better. Guess I should have believed in my own wishes.

And yet, I love you. A lot more than I can imagine. Lot more than anyone would. Lot more than I can.



Read a lot of stuff of late. It's sort of a combination of stuff. Probably makes sense. Probably doesn't. There are quite a few unpublished pieces here. I'll clean them up and start publishing more frequently. I swear.

Anyways,
See ya around.