Random rants

I'd read a poem once, long long ago. Don't really remember it all; but what it said could be loosely translated to mean that until the lions learn how to write, the hunter shall always be glorified, braver and also triumphant. In other words, when we hear / read something we know of only one side of the story. More often than not, the truth escapes our attention solely because we did not try too hard to validate facts.

The above snippet of information was (as is fondly called of late) a disclaimer to the fact that all of what you read below is my version of truth.

So here goes nothing..

I don't publish all of what I write. That's because I'm scared of people judging me. I know everyone judges anyway; but I'd rather not fuel the fire. There are times I think of things and then just cap them out because I'm too scared of putting that thought out in writing, out there just public and at times even my own scrutiny.

There's this person (about whom there would be more to come subsequently) who keeps telling me that I should write more. I'm not sure if he's only being nice or he really likes my writing or he enjoys the subtlest of signs of masochism in what I write. But he does say it well. I guess that's my motivation to write more often of late.
I know one thing for sure, though. I cannot be just writing. I need to do something more rewarding. I'm probably using a loose term here. When I say rewarding, I mean something with a timeline. Unless I've a timeline for something I tend to re-visit my work or lay it off until the last minute.

However there is this other reason why I will be terrible at writing. People.

The point is that the people wish to be able to understand what they read. When I write, I connect with me, my thoughts or views so much that I (with a reasonable logic) can decipher what I mean. I do proof read my pieces a few days later (except this one), just to confirm that my piece would make sense to any independent person. However, I miss one point. Reason is not automatic. There are individuals who don't see my point of view even after explicitly mentioning it. I've been through this multiple times.

For instance, what I was trying to say in "the victim" was that love is a luxury that one tends to get used to (I do not agree to it anymore, however .. till I hadn't really seen love in such close proximity, that's what I thought and if one looks around this fact remains true for most people). When people are in love they start accepting the significant other with all their flaws and even if flaws are all that remain at their disposal, they cannot feel any emotion other than love. Yes, it's complicated. Sometimes I don't realise which version of love do I feel is true. And then there are other times when I don't even know if I realise what being in love means. Recently, I was on the edge of falling in love. I contained myself. But wouldn't they say that if you could contain yourself, it never was love in the first place. Wait, I'm not sure if I've contained myself at all. Guess this is something I should think of maybe a few months hence. The topic at hand though .. back to the victim. It was amazing how people never viewed it as a complicated version of love. In honesty, other than the invalids, no one could proceed beyond the emotions that flew into them when they read about Maya. On the face of it, it is depressing (I get that, duh). But why wouldn't anyone appreciate the eccentricity of the emotion so widely known as love. It is wrong to love the person who brings you nothing but tears. But it's a choice she's entitled to make. Don't we all do things that don't make sense in the true sense of the term to people in general but probably is a source of peace otherwise, even if so just to one person!

I think I was a little hurt how not one person could see how attached I was to her. The problem remains that no one can see that. And in my head, I still think it's explicitly there.
Here comes a theory a cousin once explained to me (oh! The amount of distasteful memories I have of the individual. Just for the record, he's one of the top 5 reasons why I cannot trust good things can happen).
Anywho. The theory says that if someone is asleep you can wake him / her up. If someone, however, is pretending to sleep, you can't. In other words, when one denies reason, one can disprove gravity. It is that simple.

Oh yes! However, I do overcome my cowardice and publish a lot of stuff because sometimes, it's a good idea to gain perspective on the words I choose to express my point of view. Thus far, I've sucked. But, hey! It's worth trying.