yeah bus rides.. they are fun my bike is not doing well these days. the spark plug is screwed. i travel by public transport to office everyday. it may sound like a bad thing you know - to depend upon public transport after having the luxury of a lovely two wheeler to act like your dialysis.
However, its not all that terrible.
that too comes in phases - while i am waiting for the bus at the bus stop, everyday, i tell myself, "this is it! i am taking my 8693 to the mechanic today and getting this sorted once and for all. this is the last time." but then i board the bus and i sit quietly and peacefully (refer previous post for details about peace - rather the shortage of it) and just gaze. There is nothing pretty to gaze, but i always think i should get an insight.
Its a wonderful experience to see strangers everytime. The best part of it all. That's one reason why i love the small term memory that i have. i forget faces, people, names, everything. (of course, conditions apply). by doing that i dont have a reputation to stand up to. i do my best to be the one that i think should leave an impression on them. and that impression is my choice. obviously what they think is entirely different. judgements, my dear, are just as certain as death, birth and taxes. so i just let them judge me of what exactly they remember. but i can always be what i choose to be. works for me. and i guess for them too.
so here we are - thinking about strangers. humourously enough, once i met a girl with whom i spoke for around an hour through a traffic jam and while bidding adieu realised that she and i shared the same name (first and last) and the same birth date, and we live in the same locality for almost 5 years now. Yeah! Humanity!
Bizzarre as it was, it was fun.
Thats the way it works. I haven't met the woman since then. Not that her existence is a life changer, but that was a hell lot of co-incidence.
Moreover, whenever i dont want to communicate with anyone, i dont have to frown, fake or detach. Its ok. nobody expects anything out of me.
the most interesting part is, i can easily be ignored. and that is an event which i derive extreme pleasure from. its a good thing to be ignored like i dont even exist.
everyday while getting back from work, i get a lot of time to think and observe how unfair life is not just to me but also to the immensely populated section of society which i have no idea about. serves me good..
feel like i am not the only one.
dont know how and why. i dont know if its right. but then what is?
so i just do what i think i like.
i like to believe that this cruel thing called life doesn't happen only to me. i like to believe that i am not the only lonely wretch in town. i like to believe that those strangers who look happy and pleased with life are just faking so. i like to believe that i am not the devil's favorite one. i like to believe that i can survive everything, just like everyone else. i like to believe that someday, somehow - i'll feel that everything makes sense.
and bus rides, in their own unique way, help.
see ya.
However, its not all that terrible.
that too comes in phases - while i am waiting for the bus at the bus stop, everyday, i tell myself, "this is it! i am taking my 8693 to the mechanic today and getting this sorted once and for all. this is the last time." but then i board the bus and i sit quietly and peacefully (refer previous post for details about peace - rather the shortage of it) and just gaze. There is nothing pretty to gaze, but i always think i should get an insight.
Its a wonderful experience to see strangers everytime. The best part of it all. That's one reason why i love the small term memory that i have. i forget faces, people, names, everything. (of course, conditions apply). by doing that i dont have a reputation to stand up to. i do my best to be the one that i think should leave an impression on them. and that impression is my choice. obviously what they think is entirely different. judgements, my dear, are just as certain as death, birth and taxes. so i just let them judge me of what exactly they remember. but i can always be what i choose to be. works for me. and i guess for them too.
so here we are - thinking about strangers. humourously enough, once i met a girl with whom i spoke for around an hour through a traffic jam and while bidding adieu realised that she and i shared the same name (first and last) and the same birth date, and we live in the same locality for almost 5 years now. Yeah! Humanity!
Bizzarre as it was, it was fun.
Thats the way it works. I haven't met the woman since then. Not that her existence is a life changer, but that was a hell lot of co-incidence.
Moreover, whenever i dont want to communicate with anyone, i dont have to frown, fake or detach. Its ok. nobody expects anything out of me.
the most interesting part is, i can easily be ignored. and that is an event which i derive extreme pleasure from. its a good thing to be ignored like i dont even exist.
everyday while getting back from work, i get a lot of time to think and observe how unfair life is not just to me but also to the immensely populated section of society which i have no idea about. serves me good..
feel like i am not the only one.
dont know how and why. i dont know if its right. but then what is?
so i just do what i think i like.
i like to believe that this cruel thing called life doesn't happen only to me. i like to believe that i am not the only lonely wretch in town. i like to believe that those strangers who look happy and pleased with life are just faking so. i like to believe that i am not the devil's favorite one. i like to believe that i can survive everything, just like everyone else. i like to believe that someday, somehow - i'll feel that everything makes sense.
and bus rides, in their own unique way, help.
see ya.